My name is Anthony. I live in New Jersey. I work overnight as a stocker, not to be confused with stalker. I have a wonderful girlfriend, two awesome cats, two fun rats (yes, yes, rats), and even two clumsy mice. I like music - I listen to anything. Literally, anything. I also like nature, football, traveling, technology, food, and many other things.

Random thoughts

I miss certain people in my family a lot.
I miss having a dog.
I can’t wait to have an apartment with all nice furniture, all nice decorations…
And also clean.
I need to stop watching so many tv shows. It basically is a release from real life and if you’re doing it all the time — it’s not good.
It’s nice to have a beer here and there.
I got drunk for the first time the other night. It was good. Until my stomach started hurting.
I didn’t do anything for Easter besides work.
I play with my hair way too much.
I wish I had my own nature spot to go to anytime I needed some fresh air.
I want to smoke again. Just once. Not because of stress. But just to let go.
I can’t wait til I make more money.

The more often I hear older peoples’ stories, the more I realize that it was much easier for them than it is for us.

Many people at a younger age could work for a few years, have enough money to move away, move to the city and succeed.

Or, they could go to college, then just take years to travel.

Or, they could go to the military (there were down-times in warfare… But the current warfare doesn’t seem to be stopping anytime sooner) and they’d be able to travel the world and get free college and open great doors for their future.

These are just a few examples of older people I’ve talked to… The last my mother.

While some of these are still partially true and you can do it, they are much, much harder to make happen than they used to be.

These days, we have to work while in college, STILL take out loans, and be tied down for years, if not decades. Not enough money to travel, save for maybe a cruise in the Bahamas once every few years — and even then, you’re lucky if you can do that.

America isn’t the land of opportunity anymore. 

While our elders blew money as they were younger and they just landed into good fields, many young adults are struggling due to having 1-2 jobs, being in college fulltime… Only to end up with a very average salary.

It’s crazy.

It only took a little motivation to succeed very well in the 1900’s and before. Now, it takes 1000% more motivation. It’s crazy. Scary. And sickening.

For me, I want to travel the world so badly (as do most young adults). I don’t have the money now. I wont have it in a year. It might be several years before I’m even able to visit another country. And that kinda saddens me.

Chilling over at my friend’s apartment put me in such a good place mentally. It makes me realize how crappy just being at my home, still living with my mother makes me feel. Here, I feel in control and motivated to succeed. At home, I feel lazy and like a bum. 

But I’m getting a job, and I’ll work there full time and hopefully get hired on as a regular (versus seasonal). It’s going to be so much fun working and making my own money again. And I’ll save up 75% of my pay check to be with my girl sooner. I’m willing to do anything I can do keep this job and continue to get paid more and more, and hopefully, eventually transfer to the local Lowe’s there. And Lowe’s helps with college tuition, so that will be extremely beneficial for me as well.

Just seeing my best childhood friend move out of his own mother’s place and into his own apartment, it’s such a motivator. Before I was nervous if I could do it, but now I have the motivation to do it because I see how nice it is. And it’s not the most luxurious place obviously, but it’s still his own place. He can invite friends over, have fun, have responsibility, have only the things he wants in his place, etc. I can’t wait to have that power of picking and choosing what kind of things are in my own place, because for example, I need to eat healthier and it’s harder when my own kitchen has snack cakes sitting out right as soon as you walk into the kitchen… It’s the first thing you see, so it tempts you a lot.

I can’t wait to choose my own furniture, decor, food in my apartment, just everything. Setting it up the way I want to and taking pride of owning my own place and working for it.

And eventually, my girl will move in with me. And it will be the best decision I’ve ever made. :)

I went out to my kitchen and my dog, Snickers, was laying beside the water bowl and there was no water in it. He never usually does that, but he’s lost weight and I think he just didn’t really have the will-power to leave the kitchen. I gave him some water and he didn’t even drink it, though.

He hasn’t been feeling good recently and this is really upsetting to me because I love that dog. I’ve loved animals because I’ve had animals growing up but he’s been the animal there for me anytime I feel sick or sad… And I’ve been depressed the last two years or so.

I don’t know what I’d do without him.

Some people, I just can’t be funny around. I try to be myself then they look at me as weird. I just have a different sense of humor than most people.

I think people should be more open about sex. 

It’s just as natural as drinking water, eating food, and sleeping.

Sex is what keeps the human race alive, so why be ashamed/embarrassed talking about it?

I plan to have a blast on the trip today. My aunt is going too, and of course my mother. It’ll be fun. I can’t wait.

Both my mom and I are using it as a chance to get away, and my aunt hardly ever goes on any sort of trips, even on small ones, so I’m happy she’s going. I plan to leave there with a lot of motivation and determination to completely turn my life around and do more with my life than I ever thought I would possibly do. 

I don’t know how I’m going to do it. I don’t know how hard it will be. But I will make it happen.

I am so determined to overcome this depression and every other problem I have. I plan to life a great, high-motivation, hard-nosed life. I’m going to be me.

In case you can’t tell, I’m happy as heck with my life. I love everything going on in it. It may not be perfect. But I’m being optimistic.

A few things I miss from having a long distance relationship…

Watching movies together on Skype… Listening to music together… Making stupid faces at each other… Getting sleepy, both of us laying in bed on Skype… Sending cute IM’s and watching her face light up.. 

Sending cute texts for each other to wake up to… To go to sleep to… Telling each other, in detail, about what happened each day… Getting to know them and their soul…

Just… everything about it. It’s hard to deal with, but if the right one comes along again, I just might do a long distance relationship again.

These days, “studies” are telling us everything will kill us.

No shit.

It doesn’t even have to be “too much” of anything. Everyone dies eventually. More than likely, it won’t be just because of old age. 

People can say we’re living unhealthy lifestyles these days, but isn’t the life expectancy going up and up? That means we’re doing something right… Right?

Thos guy in my class had a stroke a week ago during his placement test. Hes a cool guy. and hes okay after the stroke but his vision is blurry so im helping him on the computer. I feel bad for him.

Reading again makes my mind more sharp. It makes me more intelligent, because I learn more words and learn about all kinds of new things.

I know that most people know this, but if you don’t read, give it a try sometime. It really is fun and it’s one of the best things you can do for your brain.